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When you’re growing up, you hear it all the time… don’t rush. Slow down. Take it easy.  I always wondered what they meant when they told me these things… why are they trying to prevent me from growing up.  Why don’t they want to share their experiences.  Why are they trying to stunt my growth and development? I wondered these things and grew resentful.  I have learned that this resentment that I hold deep within… this feeling of morose anger and frustration has transformed… this deep resentment has changed into a sense of understanding. 
I feel something new. I feel like this is a feeling where I get it now.  I see what they meant. I see now what it was that everyone around me was warning me not to rush into.  I see that I had no idea what I was trying to rush into. I had no clue that I was in for a truly surreal experience.  Crossroads.  Fork in the road. A rock and a hard place.  These are all euphemisms for feeling helpless.  When is it okay to feel absolutely and utterly helpless? When is it okay to to throw in the towel? When is it acceptable to proverbially throw in the towel?  I dont think you are supposed to throw in the towel - but I do think there comes a time when you need to surrender.  You need to realize your limits and accept your capabilities.  You get to a point where you realize you can do what you can, and you must accept that from and of yourself.  You know that where you are is where you are supposed to be.  You know that what you are going through and what you are experiencing is the test of a lifetime for you.  It is a rite of passage.  I believe in that. I believe that when you get to a fork in the road… you are there because you are on the edge of the rest of your life.  We all make decisions, I have made some myself lately.  I have decided that I come first.  Me. My heart. My happiness.  My life.  I have learned and decided to never let anyone else ever come ahead of me to myself.  I know that I can not love someone if I don’t love myself.  I can not provide any support or love or understanding for anyone when I can’t provide it for myself.  When it comes to disappointments or pain, I believe that no one can hurt you without your own consent.  (E. Roosevelt once said that)… I know that who I am today is a result of my past experiences.  But I also know that those experiences do not predict or foretell anything about the future.  We are  all faced with different issues and dilemmas. When we don’t know what to do, we turn outwards to find answers.  When, in reality, we should be turning inwards.  The answer to each question is within ourselves.  We each know where we want to be, and our hearts and minds guide our bodies onto the right paths. 

When we get on those paths, then what?  Wanting to be on a path, and even being set on a path does not necessarily always ensure our arrival at the destination to which the path is headed.  Once you are on a specific path, there are many things that can cause you to stay or to stray from that path. 

When we choose new paths, are we choosing new selves? Or just new ways of being ourselves?  How do we make sure to stay on these paths?

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